Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
So many bounce houses so little time
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
