i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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