this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
