like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
