Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
