They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Randomize
