quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
