If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
