My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
