Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
