I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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