i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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