Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
