i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
