tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
