he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
