Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
