no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
