My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
