I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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