at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
