She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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