Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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