Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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