ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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