Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
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