i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
