and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
