i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
