I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
