Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
this is an emotional support booty call
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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