Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i've created a new STD.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
