For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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