Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
North Korea, Best Korea!
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
