Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
