I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
