he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
