Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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