dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
