The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
