wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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