Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
