if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
