A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Boobs are out for the taking
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Enjoy the penises
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
