You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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