My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
