Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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