It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
