i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Holy shit dude........stairs
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
