This dress was meant to end up on your floor
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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