1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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